Most of the time marketing takes a big swing and…
misses.
Why? Because folks are too busy talking about themselves instead of really getting their customers.
And I don’t mean just knowing their age and job title.
I mean really getting them.
So I built this empathy mapping tool that digs deeper than the usual surface stuff.
Let me show you how it works with a real example I just ran.
The Basic Stuff We Started With
Here’s what I knew about this guy:
- 42-year-old dude with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis
- Married, two teenage daughters who play all the sports
- Works as a school psychologist
- Coaches soccer for little kids
- Wife’s a speech therapist
- About 20-25 pounds heavier than he wants to be
- Used to be more active before his kids’ sports schedules took over
- Thinking about seeing a holistic nutritionist so he doesn’t have to take meds forever
Not bad, right?
Most marketers would jump straight to “Hey busy dad, try our natural thyroid solution!” and call it a day.
But that’s like stopping at the appetizer when there’s a whole meal waiting.
So we take that information and put it in the “So What” custom GPT we built (and by we, I mean I sat down with a psychologist to get Freud level deep).
I have a 42 year old male with Hoshimotos, married with two teenage daughters. Full time job as K-12 psychologist. Coaches Club soccer for a U11 team and both of his girls play club soccer, basketball, run track – very active. Wife is a speach therapists in K-12. Does not want to be on medications to manage his condition for the rest of his life. Looking at maybe working with a holistiic nutritionist to manage conditions. He is probably 20-25 lbs overweight and does not workout as much as he did before the kids schedule got really demanding.
Digging Deeper: The “So What?” Trick
My tool uses this simple but powerful question – “So what?” – to keep pushing past the obvious:
This guy is considering a holistic nutritionist.
So what?
➡️ Because he doesn’t want to be on medication for life and wants to control his health naturally.
So what?
➡️ Because depending on medication makes him feel powerless over his own body.
So what?
➡️ Because he values independence and wants to show his daughters that health comes from lifestyle choices, not just pills.
See what happened there? We went from “doesn’t want meds” (practical) to “feels powerless” (emotional) to “wants to be a good example for his kids” (identity). That last layer – that’s where the real gold is.
Getting the Full Picture
The tool doesn’t stop there. It keeps digging:
What’s Really Driving Him
- He’s scared of losing control over his health
- He feels guilty about not taking care of himself
- He wants the energy to keep up with his active family
Who He Wants to Be
- The strong, capable dad who can still play sports with his kids
- The guy who takes charge of his health
- A role model for his daughters
What Else He’s Considering
- Just taking the meds (easy but makes him feel dependent)
- Going it alone with diet changes (free but no structure)
- Working with a professional (costs money but gives him a plan)
What’s Holding Him Back
- “Where would I find the time?”
- “Does this holistic stuff actually work?”
- “Can I justify spending money on this?”
Putting It All Together
When we map out his world, it looks something like this:
| What’s Going On In His Head | What He Sees Around Him | What He’s Hearing | What He Says and Does |
|---|---|---|---|
| “I don’t want to be on meds forever.” | Other parents making time for their health | Doctor telling him he needs medication | Complains about being tired |
| “I need my energy back.” | Instagram posts about “dad bods” vs. fit fathers | Friends talking about their latest diets | Talks about losing weight but never starts |
| “I don’t have time for myself.” | Fast food being the easy option | Wife hinting he should eat better | Avoids physical activities he used to enjoy |
| “I should be setting a better example.” | His daughters being athletic and healthy | Ads promising quick fixes | Tells kids to be healthy while not doing it himself |
Making Marketing That Actually Connects
Now we can talk to him in a way that matters:
The Message:
“Take back control of your health and energy—without being chained to medication.”
This hits home because it’s about his desire for control and being the dad he wants to be. It’s not about “our amazing nutritionist services.”
We position it like:
- “This is about getting your energy back, not just eating kale”
- “We work with busy parents who coach three teams and still need to function”
- “Show your daughters what taking charge of your health really looks like”
Why This Actually Works
Most marketing for a nutritionist would say stuff like “personalized meal plans” or “natural supplements for thyroid health.” Yawn.
This guy isn’t just buying nutrition advice. He’s buying his way back to feeling like the dad and man he wants to be. He’s buying a solution to the guilt he feels when he tells his daughters to be healthy while he’s not. He’s buying back control.
That’s the difference empathy mapping makes. It stops you from talking about yourself and starts you talking about what actually matters to them.
Try It Yourself
Next time you’re stuck trying to figure out how to market something, stop thinking about your product and start asking “So what?” about your customer’s situation. Keep asking until you hit something that matters emotionally.
Remember this: People don’t buy stuff. They buy better versions of themselves or solutions to things that bother them. Talk to them about that, and you’ll never be just another marketing message they ignore.
Want to give this empathy mapping approach a try? Drop me a line and we can chat about how to make your marketing actually connect with real humans.